and to top it all off i had an adverse reaction to the compazine they gave me in my iv on saturday to try and help my nausea. not only did it not help my nausea at all, but it made me completely unable to be still. i couldn't sleep, read, watch tv, or futz on the computer. i was totally agitated and anxiety ridden, and could do nothing to stop it. it was fabulous.
yesterday i started to feel a bit better, but i was soooo weak. i couldn't hold a decent conversation- or even the phone up to my ear for very long. i couldn't hold my book to read. i couldn't hold my arms up high enough to type. so, obviously, today is a bit better :) i'm still home, but may go back tomorrow. i'll probably go back tomorrow. maybe.
this afternoon i have a class at the hospital called "look good feel better". they're going to teach me stuff about my hair hat, and putting on eyebrows and eyelashes and makeup and stuff. so i maybe won't look so sick. my eyelashes are almost all gone now, and my eyebrows seem to be going, too. ugh.
in any event, i don't have to go back for any chemo until some time in july. and that chemo is supposed to be "a walk in the park" compared to what i've done... so now i just have to recover until surgery :) i'm looking at it as 1/3 done. surgery will be 2/3. and the taxol will be the end.
i have loooots of thank you's to put out :
glen- thank you for the sweet letter and gift- it's much appreciated :)
moriah, kate, lou, and julie- thank you so much for the meals- they have been wonderful!
mom, dad, and jill- thank you for all of the babysitting!
peggy, sherry, melissa, and lori- thank you for the notes you have sent. i love getting mail :)
and all of you that have commented so i'm not writing to myself- thank you!! makes me feel good :)
here's to a better week- never thought i'd look forward to monday!
6 comments:
How awesome you are, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom. You made it through this awful weekend and are able to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. You really are incredible.
Oh and babysitting my darlings is a joy not a job so ask ask ask!
luv mum
UGH!! I am so sorry... nothing else to say except that sounds like it sucked. BUT>>>>> It is done, you never have to have that kind of chemo ever again because it kicked your cancer's butt and now you can just keep getting stronger and better. Sending you warm fuzzies
I love you Mer, and I wish we were closer to help! :)
Yuck! It sounds like a horrible weekend, indeed. I'm glad to hear you're a bit better today. For how terrible the weekend was, I think you've earned an extra day off! Drop the maybe. Stay home, relax, read, type, whatever. Just be!--Jacque
I bet the 'feel better' part of your class involves dreaming up new ways to cause your doctors to feel the way you do :-)
Or if not the doctors, then the research scientists-- talk about incentive to improve your products!
What a horrible weekend! I am so proud of you for finding the ligt at the end of the tunnel.
Lori
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