wow!

i suck at blogging... i can't believe how long it's been since i've been on here! sorry!

well, here we go. i'm done getting filled, and so far have not had any problems :) there was a minute when we thought i might be getting red, so i went on 10 days of antibiotics to be safe, and haven't had any other issues. my boobs are currently "over filled to prevent shrikage after surgery" so i am a bit top heavy, but i *love* it :) if i ever lose the weight i gained, i may have to grow bigger feet to keep me upright :) the goal was to get my boobs bigger than my stomach. but my stomach kept growing, so the boobs had to, too. they're awesome. you should all see them ;)

last weekend i went to the 10th annual YSC conference in atlanta. it was fabulous!! i had a blast, went to a lot of workshops, did a lot of networking, and bought a lot of very clever t-shirts :) there were 900 women there- representing 42 states and 8 countries. unbelievable. anyone that thinks bc is for old ladies is sadly mistaken... but we all had a blast. there were 6 of us from my support group that went, and then we adopted a fabulous woman from florida that came on her own. the 7 of us hung out and ate and talked all weekend. we can't wait to do it again... there was a pj party on friday night, and a dance reception on saturday night. it's been a looooong time since i went out dancing!

on thursday i'm giving my very first speech. not sure how it's going to go, but i'm speaking at the kick off breakfast for the ACS making strides walk. i'm the "survivor speaker". my job is to make people dig deep and get motivated to raise funds. i'm very nervous. there are going to be more than 400 people there! crazy... i'll let you know how it goes. wish me luck!

thursday

got my first fill up on monday, and all went well... then went to the physical therapist today for a check-up, and was told that i don't need to be there :) my scars are "beautiful" and my range of motion is as good as it can be. that's awesome, because if i had to fit in pt *and* fill ups every week, i'd be in big trouble.

i got my little one from thailand on tuesday. he is adorable, and i heart him muchly :) he's going to be just fine- he already said "bye" to me on wednesday- his second day at school!! it amazes me how happy he is. he's not afraid of anything. i am quite sure that i'd be a nervous wreck if i were in his shoes.

miss symone started ballet on tuesday. that was quite an experience... she was *adorable* in her leotard and tights and ballet shoes. there are a total of 13 girls in her class- and they're all between 3 and 6 years old. the littlest one looked like she was closer to izzy's age than symma's age. she was terrified, and ran off the floor screaming when the teacher tried to hold her hand. her daddy (who was dressed like he had just come off of one of kj's work sites) took her back out on the floor and did ballet with her. i thought i would die from the cuteness. loved it. unfortunately, symma kept running off the dance floor and coming over by kj and me. so i don't think i'll be able to watch next week. i think i'll be in the hall reading :(

tomorrow we're taking symma to "disney princesses on ice". she's so excited! though she told me tonight that she doesn't think they're "real" princesses- they're "just dressed up". oh well- i think she'll still enjoy herself.

izzy's doing well, but she's been fighting a cold for a week or so. sleep has been sporadic for everyone in the house. last night we all slept all night, though, so that's good :) and now poor kj is snerfing, too. there's been so much snot running in this house it's ridiculous. hopefully we won't catch the stomach bug that's been going around!!

back to the grind

so, i'm back at work. and i have to say that i can't complain. i don't have any pain, i'm not any more tired than i normally am, people say i look healthy... but boy do i wish i was independently wealthy so i wouldn't have to be there every day! there's no other job i'd want to do, but i work 10 hour days every day, and only get paid for 8. plus, i'm never "done". there's always more work to do, more lessons to prepare, more papers to grade, more assessments to do.

i will be getting a new student very soon, and i was fortunate enough to meet him today. we typically don't meet a child until they show up at our door on their first day. so this was nice. he is a very special child, and i really am looking forward to working with him this semester. he and his family (which includes 4 siblings and his parents) came to our country from a refugee camp in thailand in december. they speak no english at all. he came to school today in shoes that were about 3 sizes too big for him, and no socks. he also didn't have a hat or mittens. he came to school to meet us with his father and his sponsor who did all of the interpreting for us. when the family went to enroll in mps, they immediately started an iep referral for cha tu. he has some physical deformities, as well as a heart condition, and communication delays. needless to say, this is going to be very difficult for him. but when he was at school today, surrounded by what i can only imagine has become a bunch of white noise, he smiled. a lot. he didn't look afraid, he shook my hand, and he seemed happy. he wanted to see his classroom, and when i took him up, and all of the children said "hi", he smiled and said "hi" back. melted my heart. it's going to be an interesting semester :)

yay!

the drain is out :) hooray!! my restrictions have been lifted and i will be going back to work on monday... all is well.

i asked my doctor how long it would be until my little boob catches up with my bigger one. he said that i have 400 cc in the full one, and 200 cc in the little one. assuming that he's able to put 100 cc in at a time i should be equal by the end of february. i get my first fill on february 1st. then a week or 2 after that i'll go for the next one. then i should just have to do some "touch-ups" to make sure they're both the same. they have to "settle" for 3-6 months again (this is when i got the infection last time, but we're hoping to avoid that this time!) and my final surgery can hopefully be in summer.

i also asked him how i got a leak in the last one. he said it was definitely not anything i did- i was afraid that wrestling with izzy, or sleeping on my stomach had caused it. he said it was a needle stick. we have no idea when or how that happened, but the hole was not a broken seam, it was a pinhole. he also said that you can stand on a full expander and it won't pop, so i don't need to worry about my chest popping when i live my normal life. i forgot to ask him about the strength of my final implant, but i assume it will be the same.

my third big question (that lots of people have asked me and i didn't have an answer for) was how my experience compares to someone that has a boob job for cosmetic purposes only. basically, when you're getting implants in healthy breasts, you don't need to use expanders. they put the final implants in right away the first time. he said it's incredibly painful for about 2 days, and then it just becomes minor discomfort for a couple weeks and is fine. they don't have to go through the disection, which i think is the cutting away of muscle from the skin... and since their skin is healthy, and has not gone through chemo which makes it more brittle and prone to wound infections, they can stretch their skin much faster.

that's all the news i have for now :) will try to do a better job of keeping you updated as this goes on... we'll see how i do!

drains

drains are freaking disgusting. no one should have to have one. the medical community should really come up with something better. they're gross. they leak. they get infected. they hurt. they're really inconvenient to shower with. and they're gross. i cannot *wait* to get mine out. the only reason i'm still at home is because of the drain. i'm not allowed to drive- because of the drain. i'm in no real pain, and there is no reason for me to be sitting at home doing nothing except for the drain dangling out of my side. it is so gross. twice a day i get to "strip" it, and measure the nasty juice that has been coming out of my body. seriously? they make little old ladies do this? how the little old ladies can even hold the tubing tight enough to strip it is beyond me. how they are able to contort themselves so that they can reach the tubing is also beyond me. it's ridiculous. they *need* to come up with a better way. because this is the third freaking time i've had to deal with it, and it sucks. and i'm done. annoyed. angry. and grossed out. ugh.

healing fine :)

so, all is well here... just hanging out at home, healing... i went to the doctor yesterday, and i finally got to shower last night. thank goodness!! then lindz took me to see "new moon". fun! i've done nothing but watch teevy and movies. watched the whole first season of "weeds", watched "twilight", "4 christmases", probably some that i'm forgetting. haven't managed to figure out izzy's scrapbook yet, but i'm going to! had a couple of visitors come help me pass the time, and have folded some laundry. i think i'm going to try and make a vegetarian stew tomorrow... though it may have to wait till next week since i'm not allowed to go grocery shopping on my own, and kj just went last night. we'll see what ingredients i need...

tomorrow night we're going to dinner with tracy and jason- so glad we've managed to get a monthly date on the calendar with them- we're trying to make a real effort to stay more connected to our friends this year. it's so hard when we all have kids and need sitters in order to get together. i can't wait till the kids are old enough that we can bring them and have them all sack out together in slumber party formation while the grown-ups play games and catch up. babies and toddlers just don't do that very well...

the good news is that, so far, i haven't spent my days eating everything in sight. hopefully i won't put on too much *more* weight. maybe i'll even be able to take some off! that would be nice- the weather is getting better... maybe i'll go for some walks...

in any event, all is well here- thanks for checking on me!

the latest surgery

hello everyone :)

i realize that any readers i did have, have probably given up on me by now, but thought i'd add in the latest news just in case...

i had the next step in my reconstruction on wednesday. dr. h replaced my leaking expander with a new expander (on the right side) and placed a new expander on the left side. my concave boob is now at about a half "a" cup. better than it was :) kind of like a fat man boob. the goal is that by the time we go to florida in april my boobs will be the same size so i don't have to worry about wearing my prosthesis in a swimming suit.

this was just about the worst time i could have picked to have surgery as far as school goes, but i decided that having 2 equal boobs in florida was more important. call me selfish. it means that the week i go back to school, report cards will be due. if i'm allowed to go back in 2 weeks. if i have to take 3 weeks off, then they'll be due while i'm at home. oh well. we'll figure it out, i'm sure.

in any event, i'm home from the hospital, and get to see my girls tonight :) yay! they've been with my dad and jill since wednesday when i had surgery. i'm back to the 10 pound weight restriction, and no driving, so i cannot take care of my girls again. blurg. they're going to be home tonight, and then they're going to go to my mom's tomorrow night. we'll see what happens sunday- probably back to gpa grob's. not sure yet. my girls are both *really* bad at getting ready in the morning and tend to require a lot of strength on my part which i am just not able to do at the moment. wrestling a 2 year old (yes- she turns 2 on sunday!) into clothing that she doesn't want to wear is exhausting when you have full strength and 2 arms... i have neither right now. and then there's symma. we won't even go there...

so, i'll be home for the next couple of weeks, and will be loading pics on my flickr page, and hopefully making my first digital scrapbook. that is my goal. i made a scrapbook for symma of her first year, and haven't done anything for poor izzy, so i'm hoping to do a digital book for her while i'm off. wish me luck!! i've got no clue how to even start, so this should be interesting... maybe i'd be better off doing a traditional scrapbook- at least in know how to do that! we'll see... anyway, look to flickr for updated pics soon- i haven't updated since halloween- crazy! and i'll try to keep this up to date while i'm home, too :)